How you fight!

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. " This is the first time I have ever used this popular saying but I believe that if I could sum up the last 10 years of my life, this phrase would sum it up perfectly. In fact, I believe this could sum up the last 20 years. I have experienced both some of the most wonderful experiences of my entire life but also the most difficult but there is one thing I can also tell you: through it all, especially the latter 10 years, there was more spiritual growth than at any other time in my life. I give no man the honor or glory for that but in it, I have had to rely on, trust, and lean on the Lord more than at any other time in my life. I give Him all the glory. According to man's standards, He should have just left me and tossed me aside but He was so patient and gracious with me. While I am sure I must have broken His heart at times, He allowed me to make some pretty serious mistakes while knowing all along, the lessons He would teach me through them.

See, there is nothing so terrible that God can't use for His own glory. I pray He uses every part of my life, all the good, all the bad, and all the ugly, for His purposes and marvelous glory. One of my many faults and weaknesses is that in my perfectionism, I hate to be wrong. You couple that with a lack of self-respect and lack of healthy self-love, and also a strong dislike for confrontation and you have nothing but disaster. For as long as I can remember I have always been quick to buckle, quick to agree with others, quick to defer even to my own conscience and my own hurt. I know some of that is rooted in the fear of man (we are to fear God, not man) but also I never wanted to think badly of someone else. I also wasn't confident enough to stand my ground in confrontation. Over the last several years there have been many things I thought or saw and just as quickly as they came, I dismissed them and repented for what I thought or saw. To be honest, in some of that I was rightly discerning that I should not speak up. We can't go around just calling out everything we see. For even God's words instructs us: So don’t even bother to correct a mocker, for he’ll only hate you for it. But go ahead and correct the wise; they'll love you even more. - Proverbs 9:8. I believe the Lord was showing me things and instead of dismissing them, my heart should have been, "Okay Lord, What do you want me to do with this?" There are some people in life who are always right and never wrong. Nothing is ever their fault and everyone else is always to blame. You cannot get into a debate with these kinds of people. I do believe that in the past 20 years, I have gotten myself into a few situations where if I had listened and trusted what I was hearing from the Holy Spirit, I would have prevented myself from being victimized by unreasonable people. I would have been delivered from them and have saved myself much pain.

Much like David, in Psalm 51, I cry: God, give me mercy from your fountain of forgiveness! I know your abundant love is enough to wash away my guilt. Because your compassion is so great, take away this shameful guilt of sin. Forgive the full extent of my rebellious ways, and erase this deep stain on my conscience. 3–4 For I’m so ashamed. I feel such pain and anguish within me. I can’t get away from the sting of my sin against you, Lord! Everything I did, I did right in front of you, for you saw it all.

Against you, and you above all, have I sinned. Everything you say to me is infallibly true and your judgment conquers me. 5 Lord, I have been a sinner from birth, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 I know that you delight to set your truth deep in my spirit. So come into the hidden places of my heart and teach me wisdom.

I am now on the way to freedom. After being in bondage, you know when that happens. You recognize it just as you recognize the change in seasons coming. But know this: freedom doesn't come easy. It comes with a price. Yes, Christ already paid the price sparing not even His own life to grant your freedom but you must execute the verdict. Freedom still comes with a fight! But be so careful about how you fight. If you are caught up in your emotions while in the midst of a battle you will get defeated for you are engaging from the wrong realm. Your combat is not against human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6:12 TPT. Repent if you need to repent. A curse cannot come without a cause. Proverbs 26:2 (sometimes a generational cause that is not your doing). You must have a clean heart to fight or you will be beaten up.

Always fight from the right position: seated with Christ in the heavenly realms. It's not about me, but about who I belong to, and throughout the battle, I may have to remind myself of these things daily. Sometimes I have to pick myself up daily and like David in Ziklag, I must encourage myself in the Lord. We must engage in the Spirit and not in the flesh. If you are born again, you are a new creation in Christ. If you are in Christ then your flesh is dead. You can't engage or reason with a dead person. That would be stupid! So, your flesh is unreasonable! Engaging or reasoning with someone else's flesh is just as foolish and will only get you sidetracked from your road to freedom. Don't get sucked in! If a situation with someone causes you doubt or confusion, know that is not the Holy Spirit. He is not the author of confusion. But control and manipulation, that is witchcraft. We are to always be led by the Spirit, never controlled by others. Make sure you are engaging from the right realm and remember that ultimately the battle is the Lords. Stay in Him! I love the song "Surrounded". "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You....This is how I fight my battle......"

No matter what the times, the Lord uses them all. Nothing is wasted in God's kingdom. He is the ultimate salvager! Actually, He doesn't just restore to what was, He makes all things new!! It has taken two really difficult and painful seasons in my life to finally come to a place where I know who I am and more importantly, just whose I am.