How you fight!

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. " This popular saying sums up the last 10 years of my life perfectly. In fact, I could even say it sums up the last 20 years. I've experienced both some of the most wonderful experiences of my entire life, such as when my children were born, but have also experienced extremely difficult things. There is one thing I can say through it all: there was more spiritual growth than at any other time in my life. I give no man the honor or glory for that but I do give man the credit for causing me to rely on, trust, and lean on the Lord. According to man's standards, the Lord should have left me and tossed me aside but He was so patient and gracious with me through my wrecked season. He allowed me to make some pretty serious mistakes while knowing all along, the lessons He would teach me through them. There is nothing so terrible that God can't use for His own glory. I pray He uses every part of my life, all the good, all the bad, and all the ugly, for His purposes and marvelous glory.

One of my weaknesses is that in my perfectionism, I hate to be wrong. You couple that with a lack of healthy self-love, and a strong dislike for confrontation and you have nothing but disaster. For as long as I can remember I have always been quick to buckle, quick to agree with others, quick to defer even to my own conscience and hurt. Much of that is rooted in the fear of man (we are to fear God, not man) but on the flip side, I truly don't want to think badly of someone else. What if I am wrong? How much hurt would that cause them?

I've seen a lot in the church over the years, particularly behind closed doors. I dismissed much of what I saw and even repented for being "critical". To be honest, lots of times I was rightly discerning but we also can't go around just calling out everything we see. For even God's words instructs us: So don’t even bother to correct a mocker, for he’ll only hate you for it. But go ahead and correct the wise; they'll love you even more. - Proverbs 9:8. I believe the Lord was showing me things and instead of dismissing them, my heart should have been, "Okay Lord, What do you want me to do with this?" Unfortunately, I have gotten myself into some situations where if I had listened and trusted what I was hearing from the Holy Spirit, I would have prevented myself & lose I love most from much harm.

I am now on the way to freedom but know this: freedom doesn't come easy. It comes with a price. Yes, Christ already paid the price sparing not even His own life to grant your freedom but you must execute the verdict. Freedom still comes with a fight! But be so careful about how you fight. If you are caught up in your emotions while in the midst of a battle you will get defeated for you are engaging from the wrong realm. Your combat is not against human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6:12 TPT. Repent if you need to repent. A curse cannot come without a cause. Proverbs 26:2 (sometimes a generational cause that is not your doing). You must have a clean heart to fight or you will be beaten up.

Always fight from the right position: seated with Christ in the heavenly realms. It's not about me, but about who I belong to, and throughout the battle, I may have to remind myself of these things daily. Sometimes I have to pick myself up and like David in Ziklag, I must encourage myself in the Lord. We must engage in the Spirit and not in the flesh. If you are born again, you are a new creation in Christ. If you are in Christ then your flesh is dead. You can't engage or reason with a dead person. That would be stupid! So, your flesh is unreasonable! Engaging or reasoning with someone else's flesh is just as foolish and will only get you sidetracked from your road to freedom. Don't get sucked in! If a situation with someone causes you doubt or confusion, know that is not the Holy Spirit. He is not the author of confusion. But control and manipulation, that is witchcraft. We are to always be led by the Spirit, never controlled by others. Make sure you are engaging from the right realm and remember that ultimately the battle is the Lords. Stay in Him! I love the song "Surrounded". "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You....This is how I fight my battle......"

Nothing is wasted in God's kingdom. He is the ultimate salvager! Actually, He doesn't just restore to what was, He makes all things new!! It has taken two really difficult and painful seasons in my life to finally come to a place where I am learning who I am and more importantly, just whose I am.