Transitioning into a new season

Today's blog is deeply personal as I currently am going through a time of transition from one season of my life to another. I write today not to teach or encourage but to bear my heart. It is being understood by many that I am on a "sabbatical". While it was said with good intentions in order to keep everything as normal as possible in hopes that things would go back to "normal", things are not going back to what they were. Please understand that what I am about to share is both very personal and very difficult.

Neither my husband nor I am on sabbatical but we are separated. The difficult decision to separate is fully mine. An event transpired almost two months ago that has left my family with a consequence of no going back. This event has resulted in a defining moment that revealed to me a truth that leaves me absolutely no other option. I understand that there are two sides to every story but please hear my heart and know that this is not something made up, fabricated, or exaggerated in any way. I have known my husband for 29 years (married 9 1/2) and respected him more than any other man I had known. I have been part of his ministry for all of those years to one degree or another. He trained me and raised me up in the things of the Spirit and I am so thankful and grateful for all of the good things I have experienced, learned, and have had imparted into me. In so many ways he is a good man so I do not make this decision lightly. I have counted the cost and have weighed the consequences heavily. The consequences for my family are more severe if I do not make this difficult decision if things were to go back to "normal".

Please know that I hold absolutely no bitterness or unforgiveness in my heart toward my husband. There are many situations where you can simply forgive, reconcile, and continue on. Unfortunately, this is not one of those situations. Sometimes something happens and while you can forgive, you can't go back into the same situation. Sometimes you have to protect and there are times that no matter how difficult the decision is to end the relationship, it must be done.

Because my heart is not to cause division, to leave my husband also means leaving the ministry that I have been a part of for 29 years. To step down from all aspects of ministry and leaving the church body that I so love, is a hard and painful decision but one that must be made. I don't want anybody to feel they must side with one or the other.

I am doing what is best for my family even at a cost. I know some relationships will not be able to continue and that's okay. Those relationships that are meant to last, I know will. For those relationships that can't remain, I understand and I release you without any hard or hurt feelings.

I don't know what is next. I do know I need time to heal. I need time with my children before they are completely all grown up, as they are so close to it now. I need time to be alone with the Lord because, at the end of the day, a title doesn't matter. Giftings or talents don't matter. There's only one thing that matters and that is your personal relationship with the Father, through Jesus Christ. Right now I am simply His. Through this time of transition, I trust Him completely. I lean on Him. He is my rock, my refuge, my strength, my comfort, my hope and He has not failed me yet! In spite of all the conflict that I find myself in, deep within I sense an abiding presence. I feel an inner strength and for the first time in quite some time, a sense of inner peace and an ability to truly live from my heart.

Thank you for taking the time to hear my heart. Blessings to you and yours.

Simply His,

Jonica